However, I can’t help it. I know it’s a season. It lines up with all that is going on in our lives right now. It’s just where I am.
Perhaps if I had one of those amazing blogs that all I focused on were beautiful homes and home decor. Trust me, I love looking at those blogs. They are entertaining. And idea forming. And dream giving. But then, for me, I would be focusing on things that are not the best for me. I tend to compare. I think too much on things that just don’t matter that much. So, occasionally, I’ll tackle the home stuff on my blog…because I DO love it. But that’s not the kind of blog I have.
Perhaps if I had a blog on frugality, deal-finding, shopping, and money saving. I'd be tired. Those ladies work way too hard!
Perhaps if I had a blog about parenting…but then I would be constantly having to admit that I don’t have a clue what I am doing. I struggle. Every. Day. Prayerfully. I struggle with how present I am with my kids….is it enough? Is it quality? And then…the comparing. Oh, the comparing! Comparing how I mother to how my friends mother. Comparing how my child at almost 3 ½ years-old still occasionally has potty accidents, when other mother’s children that age…don’t.
So, if I had a blog on topics about other things…I could easily be writing daily. But I don’t. My blog is entitled Full Life Simple Heart. My life IS full. So full. And right now, it’s so full of big thoughts, growth lessons, exhaustion, and lots of love. It almost feels too full.
So yet again, I want to focus on my desire for a simple heart. My desire is there. But practically speaking, I yearn for it to be simpler. I wish I could grasp my day more firmly and confidently…and accomplish what I desire to do. I wish my home was more organized. I wish I didn’t have projects looming over me to finish. I wish the voices in my head (not the spooky or multiple personality kind!) were clear thinking right now.
So I am going to be kind to myself. I am just going to sit in my deep thoughts…and occasionally share them, if God leads me to.
Right now I want to bathe in His grace. I want to feel His Presence. I want to watch Him work in mine and my family’s lives. I want to protect simplicity. I want to be okay if things are momentarily chaotic, knowing that they are only momentary.
And I don’t want to worry about whether or not my thoughts are too much for anyone who may or may not read. They are mine. My Father hears me. The heart of my husband hears me. That really IS enough. IF someone else can even remotely be encouraged, then I am glad I spoke my heavy thoughts.
The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak. ~Hans Hofmann, Introduction to the Bootstrap, 1993
Eliminate physical clutter. More importantly, eliminate spiritual clutter. ~D.H. Mondfleur
The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you. Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life's plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life. ~Robert Louis Stevenson
Aunt Amy....aren't you proud?!?!