~Crazy Good~

Life feels crazy.

I got a job.  I absolutely LOVE this job!  God couldn't have blessed me more.  It's with a missions organization called Christar.  The people are so sweet.  My boss is precious.  I'm having a ball...and using more brain cells on a daily basis than I've used in the 6 years I've been a stay-at-home mom.  I'm head tired when I get home!!! 

Mr. 5 is in Kindergarten now.  Mr. 4 is in K4. 
I juggle the emotions that come with watching "all the other moms" (you know, those who DON'T work outside the home) get to be homeroom Mom, if that's their choice.  I juggle the emotions of frustration of "how do Moms that work find time to work out?  Or do laundry?  Or the energy to play with their kids at night?"

So our family is in "adjustment mode".  And life feels crazy.  And yet good.  Because God is so good to us.

So, until God chooses differently for us...

life is crazy,

but God is good. 

~Summer of GROWTH~

How to even summarize where I've been....hmmmm...

• My kids are amazing....I've had such a fun summer with them.  They've grown.  They are so conversational. We've swam.  We've collected and traded silly bands with all our friends. (OK seriously...how BRILLIANT was that invention?!) We've just hung out.  No big plans.  No over-booked summer.  So sweet. 

• My relationship with Jesus has grown IMMENSELY this summer.  I cannot even express to you the precious time of growth I have had...and am in.  Our family is still in financial distress...and all I can tell you is that honestly, I wouldn't trade the spiritual growth for all the financial comforts in the world. God is utterly and completely amazing.  He has shown up in amazing ways.  This book, my Bible Study group and being intentional about memorizing God's promises have been significant in my life this summer. 
• It's also been a continuing journey of hearing God for what His plan is for our family....do I work outside the home?  Or do I work inside the home?  That's another post for another day.

Summer is coming to an end.  Can you believe it?  I hope to be able to post more now that my little men will be in school soon.
Until next time~

4

Little Guy~

I can't believe it....you are 4.  I remember so clearly the day you were born.  You were a huge baby!  I was in awe...I looked over at you and thought, "he's the size of a kindergartner!  No wonder I have stretch marks down to my toes."

You instantly completed our family.  We are so thankful you were born.

I have to say....I've NEVER met anyone like you.  You have such a distinct, amazing personality.  God took special care to design you, for sure.  He delighted in you, as I do daily. 

You are so fun...and have a huge sense of humor! 
Your faces and expressions entertain us all non-stop. 

You're way too smart for your own good...and even at 4, can size up a room of people and assess the entire situation.  It's really scary! 

Never underestimate a man ~ or toddler ~ who is the strong, silent thinker-type. 

They've got your number!   

My prayer daily is for your heart.  Trust Jesus with all of it.  He will never lead you down the wrong path.  You are truly fearfully and wonderfully made, my little love.  Because of knowing you, my heart will never be the same! 

Enjoy being 4~  

~How lovely...~

I don't know about you...but sometimes God just has to whack me over the head to get my attention.  How unfortunate for me, right?  You would think I would've learned by now to listen daily and closely, so as to spare myself much anxiety.  Oh well....my stubborness keeps me learning and growing, I suppose. 

I went to a luncheon with my Mom as her guest recently.  At the end of the luncheon, there was a random drawing (which I am fully convinced there is no such thing as random) and I won!  What fun.  What had I won??  Glad you asked.  This book:

How nice.  I really like Beth Moore.  I like her heart and of course, her love for the Lord.  But one more book to read?  Seriously.  I barely have time to bathe.  By God's grand providence, I opened it one day and began to read.  I wish I could say that God whacked me over the head with the turning of each page.  Nope.  

I read...and read...and read.  Beth had some interesting little points.  And of course, I was learning nuggets about my insecurities.  But for the most part, I felt I was so blessed to be a fairly confident woman.  How lucky.  

Slowly, God began to uncover my tightly closed eyes.  I began to really SEE areas in my life that I am  insecure.  Now, I understand that all women struggle, to some degree or another.  And fortunately, mine are not blatantly screaming insecurities...or an out-of-control daily struggle.  They are more hidden.  But still as serious.  

But thank GOD I don't struggle ~ at all ~ with being insecure with my man.  (Ahem) 

Last weekend, my husband's work sent us on an all-expense PLUSH weekend in Savannah, GA.  It was wonderful...and such a sweet time with Bill.  No kids.  (Hallelujah!)  At this work weekend, we met 30 or so couples from around the United States who do similar work.  We met some wonderful people.  

We also met her. 

• 
  
  Now, I'm tall and blonde...and feel I can generally "hold my own" in a crowd.  So is she ~ taller, blonder (no, not really) and can "own the crowd". 
• 
  
  I run.  I mean, I got up each day in Savannah and went for a run.  She's a marathoner. 
• 
  
  I have a home based business.  She is a corporate company owner.  (Uh, hello....getting the picture? Shall I go on???) 
• 
  
  I have a general appreciate for sports.  She has an unrealistic love and craziness for sports.  This led into in-depth conversations and much fist-pumping with my sports crazed husband.  (I mean, really?!) 
• 
  
  And let's not get into what that girl can do to a swimsuit.....

So what's my point?  WHAM!  God brought me face-to-face with my total insecurity! There is no denying now that I have the ability to struggle.  

We all do.  It's life.  But I am thankful for God's whammies!  I am thankful He doesn't leave me stuck.  I am thankful for Beth Moore's obedience to write this book.  It speaks to my heart.  

We are all so precious to our Father.  Only in Him can we be fully secure.  I don't have time to go into her whole book and the practicalities of how to make that happen in our lives (that's why she has 18 chapters to do that).  But this verse meant so much to me this very morning when reading her book.  I've never seen it quite in this light:  

 How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty!  Ps. 84:1

If we are truly indwelt by Him, his Word says "we are lovely".  I don't know about you, but I love that. 

I encourage you to add this book to your reading list.  It might just be worth your time.  Or you may get whammied.   (Enjoy!) 

~Back to life~

Here I sit at the computer....on resurrection day.  The resurrection of this blog, that is.  Thanks to two of my sweet girlfriends (you know who you two are...), I "reconsidered" this blog.  This is what I've prayerfully come up with...

This will be my place to document my family, my heart and my love for and walk with the Lord.  I decided this blog should be written for my kids.  I want them to be able to see their life (since I'm a terrible photo-album-keeper/scrapbooker!), and I want them to truly know me.  Since at this time in their lives, my "job" is to be their Mom and not their best friend, I want them to be able to look back and hear my heart for them...and for the world the Lord has put us in.  So this is for them.  And me.  And you, if the Lord so chooses.

It's not to impress.  I will not allow myself to get trapped in comparisons.  I will not struggle to speak, if the Lord hasn't put something on my heart.  It's His, mine and my kids.  If you want to take the journey with us, we're blessed.  If not, we're still blessed. 

Right at this moment, I have a broken camera.  So I don't have the ability to take new pictures.  This could cause me much "blog anxiety".  But it is what it is.  And I give that anxiety over to the One who can free me from it.  For now, I'll just write until I can photograph, too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How me and my family have been since March:

(1)Healthy
(2)Growing in our trust of Almighty God each and every day.  We're still "touch and go" with paychecks.  They are spotty at best.  Some months (okay, only one month in the past 8) are feast, while most are famine.  But God knows exactly where we are.  And that's where He currently chooses for us to be.  So I trust.  I wait.  I do the next right thing daily.  And wait some more.  And know that God is good.
(3)The boys are changing, growing.  They are little people now.  Little people with wills of their own.  Hearts of gold.  Hugs that would melt a glacier.  Smiles that are heartwarming.  They are discovering who God is.  What his Word is...and means in our daily lives.  They are learning daily what it means to need God, by dealing with their own hearts bent towards rebellion, as are all of our hearts.
(4)My husband and I are working...lots.  He is continuing to press on in his line of work.  God is opening doors and will bless as He sees fit.  It's all in His hand.  I have re-picked up a home business I used to work when the boys were tiny and it's been fun to see God bless it.  I keep eyeballing Him.  He's never steered me wrong yet...in all my 40 years of livin'. 
 (5)Lastly, Bill and I are just enjoying being married.  We're relishing being parents.  We laugh a lot about the things our kids do ~ things that are easy and things that are "difficult".  We know this time is momentary...fleeting.  He's a great leader, that man.  And God love him...he puts up with me.  Not only that, he loves me well.

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I'm going to bed now.  I'm tired.  And grateful.  And blessed.

Life IS full and my heart will always stay simple~

Simply put....I will be retiring this blog.  For now, at least.  Maybe always.  I need to figure out if I will maintain it down the line as a family blog ~so our relatives and close friends can keep up with our busy lives.  But for now, it won't be happening. 

God has taken us on a journey with debt pay-off, financial challenges, parenting and such.  I have shared a lot of this with you along the way.  And the journey continues.  We're still in the thick of it.  There should be so much to write about everyday.  My thoughts should be overflowing.  They are not.

This tells me that I need to focus all my energy and prayers on the specific things in our lives that we are fully devoted to right now, in order survive thrive during this time.  And of course, my family stays as my main daily activity.

I will follow the Lord and my heart on this.....and maybe I'll be back one day.  Maybe I'll do another blog entirely.  I don't know.  But I do know I'll still be reading yours every chance I get (if you have one). 

Thank you for following!  And blessings upon blessings to you~

Oh, of COURSE....silly me.

"What's going on here?", I ask.



















"My spider is eating.", is my 3-year-old's answer.















"Dog food?"
"Well, we don't have spider food, do we?"