Wednesday, May 19, 2010

~How lovely...~

I don't know about you...but sometimes God just has to whack me over the head to get my attention.  How unfortunate for me, right?  You would think I would've learned by now to listen daily and closely, so as to spare myself much anxiety.  Oh stubborness keeps me learning and growing, I suppose. 

I went to a luncheon with my Mom as her guest recently.  At the end of the luncheon, there was a random drawing (which I am fully convinced there is no such thing as random) and I won!  What fun.  What had I won??  Glad you asked.  This book:

How nice.  I really like Beth Moore.  I like her heart and of course, her love for the Lord.  But one more book to read?  Seriously.  I barely have time to bathe.  By God's grand providence, I opened it one day and began to read.  I wish I could say that God whacked me over the head with the turning of each page.  Nope.  

I read...and read...and read.  Beth had some interesting little points.  And of course, I was learning nuggets about my insecurities.  But for the most part, I felt I was so blessed to be a fairly confident woman.  How lucky.  

Slowly, God began to uncover my tightly closed eyes.  I began to really SEE areas in my life that I am  insecure.  Now, I understand that all women struggle, to some degree or another.  And fortunately, mine are not blatantly screaming insecurities...or an out-of-control daily struggle.  They are more hidden.  But still as serious.  

But thank GOD I don't struggle ~ at all ~ with being insecure with my man.  (Ahem) 

Last weekend, my husband's work sent us on an all-expense PLUSH weekend in Savannah, GA.  It was wonderful...and such a sweet time with Bill.  No kids.  (Hallelujah!)  At this work weekend, we met 30 or so couples from around the United States who do similar work.  We met some wonderful people.  

We also met her. 

  • Now, I'm tall and blonde...and feel I can generally "hold my own" in a crowd.  So is she ~ taller, blonder (no, not really) and can "own the crowd". 

  • I run.  I mean, I got up each day in Savannah and went for a run.  She's a marathoner. 

  • I have a home based business.  She is a corporate company owner.  (Uh, hello....getting the picture? Shall I go on???) 

  • I have a general appreciate for sports.  She has an unrealistic love and craziness for sports.  This led into in-depth conversations and much fist-pumping with my sports crazed husband.  (I mean, really?!) 

  • And let's not get into what that girl can do to a swimsuit.....
So what's my point?  WHAM!  God brought me face-to-face with my total insecurity! There is no denying now that I have the ability to struggle.  

We all do.  It's life.  But I am thankful for God's whammies!  I am thankful He doesn't leave me stuck.  I am thankful for Beth Moore's obedience to write this book.  It speaks to my heart.  

We are all so precious to our Father.  Only in Him can we be fully secure.  I don't have time to go into her whole book and the practicalities of how to make that happen in our lives (that's why she has 18 chapters to do that).  But this verse meant so much to me this very morning when reading her book.  I've never seen it quite in this light:  

 How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty!  Ps. 84:1

If we are truly indwelt by Him, his Word says "we are lovely".  I don't know about you, but I love that. 

I encourage you to add this book to your reading list.  It might just be worth your time.  Or you may get whammied.   (Enjoy!) 

Sunday, May 16, 2010

~Back to life~

Here I sit at the computer....on resurrection day.  The resurrection of this blog, that is.  Thanks to two of my sweet girlfriends (you know who you two are...), I "reconsidered" this blog.  This is what I've prayerfully come up with...

This will be my place to document my family, my heart and my love for and walk with the Lord.  I decided this blog should be written for my kids.  I want them to be able to see their life (since I'm a terrible photo-album-keeper/scrapbooker!), and I want them to truly know me.  Since at this time in their lives, my "job" is to be their Mom and not their best friend, I want them to be able to look back and hear my heart for them...and for the world the Lord has put us in.  So this is for them.  And me.  And you, if the Lord so chooses.

It's not to impress.  I will not allow myself to get trapped in comparisons.  I will not struggle to speak, if the Lord hasn't put something on my heart.  It's His, mine and my kids.  If you want to take the journey with us, we're blessed.  If not, we're still blessed. 

Right at this moment, I have a broken camera.  So I don't have the ability to take new pictures.  This could cause me much "blog anxiety".  But it is what it is.  And I give that anxiety over to the One who can free me from it.  For now, I'll just write until I can photograph, too.


How me and my family have been since March:

(2)Growing in our trust of Almighty God each and every day.  We're still "touch and go" with paychecks.  They are spotty at best.  Some months (okay, only one month in the past 8) are feast, while most are famine.  But God knows exactly where we are.  And that's where He currently chooses for us to be.  So I trust.  I wait.  I do the next right thing daily.  And wait some more.  And know that God is good.
(3)The boys are changing, growing.  They are little people now.  Little people with wills of their own.  Hearts of gold.  Hugs that would melt a glacier.  Smiles that are heartwarming.  They are discovering who God is.  What his Word is...and means in our daily lives.  They are learning daily what it means to need God, by dealing with their own hearts bent towards rebellion, as are all of our hearts.
(4)My husband and I are working...lots.  He is continuing to press on in his line of work.  God is opening doors and will bless as He sees fit.  It's all in His hand.  I have re-picked up a home business I used to work when the boys were tiny and it's been fun to see God bless it.  I keep eyeballing Him.  He's never steered me wrong all my 40 years of livin'. 
 (5)Lastly, Bill and I are just enjoying being married.  We're relishing being parents.  We laugh a lot about the things our kids do ~ things that are easy and things that are "difficult".  We know this time is momentary...fleeting.  He's a great leader, that man.  And God love him...he puts up with me.  Not only that, he loves me well.


I'm going to bed now.  I'm tired.  And grateful.  And blessed.