Monday, June 29, 2009

Anyone share these feelings?

I can't believe what a writer's block I am having! This summer is overtaking me. Or should I say, a 3-yr-old and a 4-yr-old are overtaking me?! :)

I KNOW there are things going on in my heart, I'm just not sure how to express them in the 10 minutes of free time I have a day to do so. And come evening, I have only enough energy to crawl into the bed. I sound like such a wienie! How do all these moms of little ones do it?! I read the blogs of these "Super Star" women with 6 children, who wake up, clean the whole house, make homemade cinnamon rolls and paint the entire house....all before breakfast, all the while changing a baby's diaper with one hand...and crocheting a Christmas sweater with the other. Well, that might be a slight exaggeration.... But the thought of being able to do that is (a) exhausting; and (b) exhilerating!

I am such a task-oriented, check-list kind of girl. I have, for that very reason, had much frustration this summer. Mainly, because my to-do project list for my house is growing and my time to do it is shrinking. I'm learning that if I can't do it "right" or "right now", it causes me much anxiety. God is teaching me to SIT in my anxiety. And let me tell you, that is so against the grain of my nature. I spoke in this post about how summer had become a time of freedom and letting go of schedules. I have to admit, there are moments when I am losing my mind. I am so wanting to fully grasp the idea of relaxing... and going with the flow. And I think I've come a long way, baby.

What about you? Do you ever have these feelings as well? Or am I an island in this?

1 comment:

Connie :) said...

Sister!!! Of course you're not the only one with these feelings ... but seriously, I think YOU ARE AMAZING. May I refer back to this post: (hope that worked right) ... YOU SIMPLY ROCK, WOMAN!! But I do know what you mean :) You are not alone on your "island," but I'm not worthy of sharing that one with you ... I have my own ... full of BIGGER WIENIES (me!) ... who don't have any children and STILL can't manage any semblance of "simplicity" or "order!!!" (sigh) I love you, girl, and you are just having a "moment" ... STOP. TAKE A DEEP BREATH. BE STILL (for just a sec :) and FEEL GOD'S LOVE ... He thinks you are UBER-SPECIAL ... and so do I ... xo, c. :)